:: Oh, Look, A Tumbleweed ::

Remember when these used to be song quotes? :: Monday, April 06, 2009 ::

Maybe I'll start updating this again. Or maybe it's just because it's 3:19 in the morning and I can't get to sleep.

I've mostly gotten over my "Oh shit, I don't think I want to be in film/art department/school/here" crisis from Fall term. I do think film might not be the right path for me (At least not filmmaking) but I've enjoyed the past few months. I think In Passing was a jolt of confidence that I really needed. I did a good job and I'm proud of that. It's one of the few things I've ever done at this school that I'm proud of.

Scott's fourth year script is a beast, though. I like it a lot, which is rare for a script at this school, but whatever. It's just going to be difficult but I told him I wanted to take it easy third year and go batshit crazy fourth year.

The metal class is something I'm really, really enjoying. Maybe it's because we're all at square one, but I feel like it's something that not only can I do, but something I'm good at. It's a chance to really explore what my personal design aesthetic is and I'm enjoying with a material that isn't wood.

I was reading the Northwest group on Facebook because I stumbled across it and the thing about reunions really struck home with me. I started thinking about how few people I talk to from high school anymore. And that got me thinking about my friendships right now and if that would be the same way. Will I talk to just as few of these people? Brittany and Rachel will be lifelong friends, and I wouldn't be surprised if Trevor and Nikki were the same. It's just weird to think about. We'll all relocate and move on, though I guess the fact that most of us will relocate to LA or NY probably keeps some sense of community.

I can't believe my classmates from high school are going to be graduating in a few months. It's just kind of like. . .is this really it? Are we really becoming adults? I still feel like a kid, really. God, I would have been able to graduate last December if I had stayed at CofC.

I've developed so many stupid regrets over the past year or so, just things I wish I had done differently. I really wish I had pursued and stuck with swimming. I wish I had tried diving. I REALLY wish I had done SOMETHING with tennis. I wish I had done more stage managing. I wish I had been involved with more than one Spring Musical.

I was looking through RISD's different graduate programs and there was stuff for metal and glass and all kinds of really interesting stuff. It just really struck me, like, why hadn't I ever tried something like that? I'm just now getting into metal working here in the final semester of my third year. I've always been fascinated with glass since I was a kid -- why didn't I try and go somewhere with that?

It's funny how I've slowly gotten rid of some more sophomoric things I used to have -- LiveJournal, for instance. I've been thinking about dumping my Facebook for a while now. Anyways, coupled with me updating this blog a couple of times, it's just funny.

Part of me almost wants to go back and reread some of those posts from 2005/4/3 but another part of me is really terrified to face the kind of person I was back then. I used to think I was more mature than most, but. . .damn. I know that wasn't the case.

I could spending this time doing something productive, like research for either of the things I need to do research for. Flow. Fortune Teller's shop. Fun.

Hm. Yep. Don't know what else to say. I wanted to watch a movie tonight, but I couldn't get more than ten minutes into any of the films I started.

I've listened to "Zero" by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs a disturbing amount.

Okay, I'm done now.

:: Nick Monday, April 06, 2009 [+] ::