:: Oh, Look, A Tumbleweed ::

:: Sunday, April 19, 2009 ::

Aaaaand I'm back.

My nose has been stuffy on and off and I tend to wake up with a sore throat pretty often so I hope I'm not coming down with anything.

I just realized tonight I haven't e-mailed Heidi in forever.

God, I just feel weird. I feel like I'm never as happy as I was during high school, nor am I ever as. . .fulfilled, I guess? Like I've somehow missed out on something. Wasn't college supposed to be the best four years of my life? I've just felt bogged down and stressed for pretty much all of it. I'm sure that has something to do with the school I'm at, but it also has to do with how the school operates in terms of always having to, basically, reapply for admission each year and having very little wiggle room for mistakes.

A lot of people from high school crossed my mind today, for no particular reason. I was in the studio for quite some time, so I guess my mind was wandering. But just, you know, people I don't really talk to much anymore. People like Heidi, Robin, Andrew, I'm currently having a sneezing fit, Page, Simon, Sara, Graeson. Hell, even Margaret.

I actually just sent messages to a few of those people in the thirty minutes I took between writing that paragraph and this sentence so I guess I'm trying.

I don't really know what to say. I guess I'm just hoping this helps me work through some stuff. I just look at doing film after I graduate school and I really don't think it's what I want to do. I really don't. And that terrifies me. I don't know what else I can do.

:: Nick Sunday, April 19, 2009 [+] ::