:: Oh, Look, A Tumbleweed ::

So I'm packing my bags for the Misty Mountains :: Sunday, July 25, 2004 ::

My sleeping patterns bottomed out last night -- Six fucking thirty. I'm tired of this, I really am. Even that night I took two Benadryl I was still up until three o'clock. And then, today, I set my alarm to wake me up at ten so I'd be running on very few hours of sleep and would undoubtedly fall asleep at a reasonable hour. But no. This is really just boardering on annoying now. Although, in my insomniac-ish bout, I read half of Wise Blood. Simon, how you hate this book is beyond me. I could not stop reading it. I looked and saw how far I had gotten into it and it seemed like it hadn't taken any time at all. I love it! Love it, love it, love it! Although I'd like to punch Enoch Emory in his jaw. Could he be more annoying? Could he?

So, here I sit at 2:53. I was out with Jesse and Val for a long time today, and that was a lot of fun. I swear, the amount of stuff we saw was great. And bought, too.

And then Jesse's family fed me and...yeah. We ate an awesome cake. Then Jesse and I ended up talking about stuff at, like, nine o'clock (Which resulted in me getting kind of depressed, just the subject matter and all) and all of a sudden, I'm looking at my watch, and it's two in the morning. It's just baffling. We discussed so much, too. MacBob (I will never say that name again ever, not after everything that happened because of it), Rhinoceros, Mitchell really liking the idea of me directing something next year, what I would want to direct, who would I cast (Any ideas for plays? I've been looking, but none are jumping out at me), stuff like that. And it's so...weird. Because now I feel like a senior. I don't really know why, but I do. We were discussing who would be good in Hamlet, and it just sunk in that my grade was the limit. And...it's weird. I haven't been at Northwest nearly as long as some people (This will be my fifth year) but even then...to be a senior here is so...odd. Who knows. I'm glad junior year is behind me. That year should be buried and never talked of again. I've got English AP to look foward to, Biology AP, finally having Honors B and finally having MO, the fact that Mitchell is really pushing for me to direct a play, the fact that I'd GET to direct a play, whoever my independent study finally ends up with, and I know this all seems like a lot, and I'm wondering if maybe I'm stretching myself too thin, but, you know, it's my senior year. MY senior year. I want it to be about what I want to do and what I'll enjoy doing.

Frankly, if I got to direct a play...that would be enough to make the senior year experience worth it.

Bring on the college applications and more MWDS' and the slew of other assignments. It's my senior year, dammit, and I don't care how hard I have to look for any joy or fun, I will find it, and I will have fun this year. I'll stress over stuff, I'm sure, that's just part of the high school experience. But I want to at least enjoy my last year.

I've got one last year with Jesse. I just realized that. Graduation's going to be a blast.

Current Mood: Psht...fuck if I know
Current Music: Yes - Your Move

:: Nick Sunday, July 25, 2004 [+] ::