:: Oh, Look, A Tumbleweed ::

:: Thursday, April 22, 2004 ::

This is a really random statement...but my God I am so fucking happy right now. Why? I have no earthly clue. But I...something just triggered something in me today because it was fucking awesome. Alright, Pre-Cal was boring as all hell, but, otherwise? I don't know. Something was...different about today.

AH! I just...I want to be able to spend one day with everyone, maybe a couple with Jennifer since I never get to see her ever and she's so fucking awesome. Seriously, to have someone who sits and listens to you bitch and moan and complain and never get annoyed? That's amazing. And I'm so glad I have Jennifer for that. I don't know what I'll do next year when she's gone. Jesse is someone else who I've spilled my every last secret about what's happened to me in the past month and she's been so...so...I love you, Jesse. I can't wait to spend tomorrow with you. I started thinking about everything we're going to do and I just got so...giddy, almost. I want tomorrow to get by really quickly so I can kidnap you and we can go DO something. Oh! And Heidi! Heidi is someone else I've really been open to. She's so cool. I love her guess whats. I love them. I want her to tell me a "Guess What" everytime I see her.

There's so many people I wish I was better friends with. Charlotte, I really regret that I never got a chance to know you. You seem like such a cool person and I wish I could say that I was truly your friend. Same with Adam. I mean, I've known you since 4th grade and it's been nice to have a...reunion, of sorts this year. Believe, there's been several times when I've wanted to ask your advice on some stuff. And Beef. Which is an even better nickname than Nickus. You also seem really smart and nice and for all you comment on my blog, I wish I could just suck it up and strike up a conversation with you.

I drove down I-85 today blasting "The State I Am In" from my stereo and singing to my heart's content. Maybe that's what put me in this good mood.

I think I'm finally starting to see the good in what happened to me. Which makes me unbelievably happy. My school year was already hell enough, but not having you for those six months? It would have been horrible. Thank you, Andrew, for giving me the best six months of my life.

I don't know what's going on with me. I came home and saw my dad wants me to cut the back yard and it didn't phase me at all! HAPPY! Oh, this is so fucking nice. It's the first time in a long, long time I've been so...euphoric. Yeah, this is euphoria of some sort. The last time I felt this...no, that's too personal to divulge. But just thinking about what the circumstances were, I want to cry tears of joy or happiness or just jump around my room because I EXPERIENCED IT. I went through something that doesn't happen to a lot of people and, yeah, it's sucked for the past few weeks, but, my God, that's the happiest I've ever been in my life.

Seriously, everybody who reads my blog, lets spend a day together. Just you and me. I want to do that so badly. Especially you, Jennifer.

Current Mood: Yep, it's euphoric
Current Music: Belle and Sebastian - The State I Am In

:: Nick Thursday, April 22, 2004 [+] ::