:: Oh, Look, A Tumbleweed ::

You were always saying something you swear you'd never say again :: Saturday, January 17, 2004 ::

So...one thing I like about those conversations is that they really make me think. And I wish we could stay on the phone longer because you always make me think.

And I think I've reached a...decision. Maybe not a final one, but...I've reached a conclusion, how about that.

And that is: I am tired of lying. I am tired of being inconspicuous. I am tired of blowing people off without giving them the exact reason why.

But, most of all, I am tired of lying. Why the fuck can't I just say how wonderful a person is without the fear of consequence? Some people, one in particular, I would love to just tell the world how wonderful they are, because you all are. But having to lie constantly is frustrating me.

So...how wonderful you are. Because you just are. You are funny, witty, intelligent, thought provoking, cute, flexible and understanding rolled all into one. You make me feel really good. Even when you insult me, I feel so lucky to have somebody who can do that and not get mad when I insult them back and we can laugh about it. And then to be able to just sit and talk for hours and do nothing but but still feel as if I'm the luckiest person on the planet.

I really wish I could...I don't know..."proclaim my love" for you, but, once again, I have to let inconspicuous behavior win out.

But I love you. To be depressed when I hear you're having a sad time or to get happy just to know something really good has happened to you, that comes very rarely with most of my friends. Really, just with you and one other.

That's love, Simon. That's what love is. To have the person you love affect your mood just by what happens to them. A large portion of love can't be described. It just has to be experienced and even then what love is can't be described.

I fucking love you.

Current Mood: I couldn't tell you if you paid me
Current Music: Guster - Fa Fa

:: Nick Saturday, January 17, 2004 [+] ::