:: Oh, Look, A Tumbleweed ::

:: Friday, August 01, 2003 ::

In case you actually need a reason NOT to vote for George Bush next election (Like we really need one) here is a list of reason's why this man needs to be removed from office come 2004. And fast.
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GEORGE W. BUSH RESUME
The White House, USA

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:

* I attacked and took over two countries.
* I spent the U.S. surplus and looted the U.S. Treasury.
* I shattered the record for biggest annual deficit in history.
* I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any
12-month period.
* I set all-time record for biggest drop in the history of the stock market.
* I am the first president in decades to execute a federal prisoner.
* I am the first president in US history to enter office with a criminal
record.



* In my first year in office I set the all-time record for most days on
vacation by any president in US history.
* After taking the entire month of August off for vacation, I presided over
the worst security failure in US history.
* I set the record for most campaign fund raising trips by any president in
US history.
* In my first two years in office over 2 million Americans lost their job.
* I cut unemployment benefits for more out-of-work Americans than any other
president in US history.
* I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
* I appointed more convicted criminals to administration positions than any
president in US history.
* I set the record for the fewest press conferences of any president since
the advent of TV.
* I signed more laws and executive orders amending the Constitution than any
other president in US history.
* I presided over the biggest energy crises in US history and refused to
intervene when corruption was revealed.
* I presided over the highest gasoline prices in US history and refused to
use the national reserves as past presidents have.
* I cut health care benefits for war veterans.
* I set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously take
to the streets to protest me (15 million people), shattering the record for
protest against any person in the history of mankind.
* I dissolved more international treaties than any president in US history.
* I've made my presidency the most secretive and unaccountable of any in US
history.
* Members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in US history.
(The 'poorest' multimillionaire, Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker
named after her).
* I am the first president in US history to have all 50 states of the Union
simultaneously go insolvent.
* I presided over the biggest corporate stock market fraud in any market in
any country in the history of the world.
* I am the first president in US history to order a US attack and military
occupation of a sovereign nation, and I did so against the will of the United
Nations and the world community.
* I have created the largest government department bureaucracy in the history
of the United States.
* I set the all-time record for biggest annual budget spending increases,
more than any other president in US history.
* I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove
the US from the Human Rights Commission.
* I am the first president in US history to have the United Nations remove
the US from the Elections Monitoring Board.
* I removed more checks and balances, and have the least amount of
congressional oversight than any presidential administration in US history.
* I rendered the entire United Nations irrelevant.
* I withdrew from the World Court of Law.
* I refused to allow inspectors access to US prisoners of war and by default
no longer abide by the Geneva Conventions.
* I am the first president in US history to refuse United Nations election
inspectors access during the 2002 US elections.
* I am the all-time US (and world) record holder for most corporate campaign
donations.
* The biggest lifetime contributor to my campaign, who is also one of my best
friends, presided over one of the largest corporate bankruptcy frauds in
world history (Kenneth Lay, former CEO of Enron Corporation). I spent more money
on polls and focus groups than any president in US history.
* I am the first president to run and hide when the US came under attack (and
then lied, saying the enemy had the code to Air Force 1).
* I am the first US president to establish a secret shadow government.
* I took the world's sympathy for the US after 911, and in less than a year
made the US the most resented country in the world (possibly the biggest
diplomatic failure in US and world history).
* I am the first US president in history to have a majority of the people of
Europe (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and
stability.
* I am the first US president in history to have the people of South Korea
more threatened by the US than by their immediate neighbor, North Korea.
* I changed US policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government
contracts.
* I set the all-time record for number of administration appointees who
violated US law by not selling their huge investments in corporations bidding for
gov't contracts.
* I have removed more freedoms and civil liberties for Americans than any
other president in US history. In a little over two years I have created the most
divided country in decades, possibly the most divided that the US has been
since the civil war.
* I entered office with the strongest economy in US history and in less than
two years turned every single economic category heading straight down.

* RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

* I have at least one conviction for drunk driving in Maine (Texas driving
record has been erased and is not available).
* I was AWOL from the National Guard and deserted the military during a time
of war. I refuse to take a drug test or even answer any questions about drug
use.
* All records of my tenure as governor of Texas have been spirited away to my
father's library, sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
* All records of any SEC investigations into my insider trading or bankrupt
companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
* All minutes of meetings of any public corporation for which I served on the
board are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
* Any records or minutes from meetings I (or my VP) attended regarding public
energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

* PERSONAL REFERENCES:

* For personal references, please speak to my dad or James Baker. (They can
be reached in their offices at the Carlyle Group where they are helping to
divide up the spoils of the US-Iraq war and plan for the next one.)

:: Nick Friday, August 01, 2003 [+] ::